Randoms

I haven't had time to blog recently but I have been trying to snap pictures, so here are a few pics of our life recently...

Grandpa Wiens spending quality time with Payton in her tent

I am not sure how they both fit in there with all the stuff Payton kept adding to the tent

Mom with little man, we had a great time with Mom and Dad. They were only here for 4 days and I was very sad to see them leave. Good news is the kids and I head to Florida in less than a month!

I decided I need to take pictures of little man (we have far less than we did with Payton) so I sat in him in her chair and she did not want him sitting in it unless she joined him.

"Lady why is the camera in my face?"

"Umm, a little help here lady"

"Enough already"

We have been stuck inside because of the 10 inches of snow

Steve brought me home a few surprises one evening. That is unlike him to bring me something "just because." No details will be provided about what was in the VS bag :)

I have a problem with sweets after having kids. I really have show no self control with cookies, candy, and anything yummy like these homemade-from-scratch Cinnamon rolls that my friend Amy brought me. I ate half of a 13x9 pan full of them in 2 days. So much for losing baby weight. The same thing happened with Payton,  I usually don't care for sweets much, but after delivering a baby, that sweet meter is turned up big time!

Payton 2 years old!

Friday was Payton's 2nd birthday. It is crazy that 2 years have already passed.  Friday morning we woke up and made waffles. Payton helped me cook and then got to blow out candles on her waffles, she was thrilled to have candles on her waffles.

Waffles with whip cream and candles

Waffles with whip cream for birthday #1 too
(funny thing is she hasn't worn that bib for about a year and we just pulled it out and that is all she wants to wear)

Baking our waffles

I had thought about doing a birthday party for her, but a few weeks ago decided life was a little too crazy for a party. That decision was made before Steve had hurt his back (which he is doing much better) and I am very glad that I decided to not make a big hoopla and stress myself out. Last minute I decided to have a few friends with kids to join us at Chick-fil-a, one of Payton's favorite places to eat. We had a great evening with friends and the kids got ice cream and got to play while the parents visited.  Payton had a very rough day (tantrums ALL day) and you can see by the pictures she wasn't much happier at her own "party"

Ice Cream is her favorite dessert right now

We had to trick her to turn around from the picture. You can see her tears of unhappiness that she cried a lot that day

My mom and dad arrived late Friday night, so we got to celebrate Payton again on Saturday. We had pizza and then went and got ice cream with Zack and Hilary (our next door neighbors who are the closest thing to family for us in Olathe) and their families that were in town.  Payton loved her chocolate ice cream.

The gang

Loving chocolate ice cream

Zack and Hilary and us

Payton with a few of her favorite men

The family minus Colton

Colton was quite content sleeping in his car seat while we all ate. (Check out his adorable owl hat from my friend Judy)

MIA

 I have been MIA in life in general. Since having Colton 3.5 weeks ago we have had family visiting, Christmas, gone visiting family, New Years, Payton had the flu, I got the flu and now I have a husband who resembles the leaning tower of Pisa.  It is snowing like crazy outside and full of chaos inside. Steve hurt his back very badly last Thursday. He has a bad back (herniated discs and other things) and something didn't sit well with his workout on Thursday. Has has gotten worse and his body is leaning, literally his top half leans.  He is gone to the Chiro a few times this weekend and is getting an MRI done right now.  Please pray for wisdom to know what needs to be done and ultimately for healing.

Needless to say, I have been pulled many directions. With a newborn who by nature is demanding, a 2 year-old that is very vocal about her demands, and now a 28 year-old who is trying not to be demanding but can't do much for himself (I have to help him get dressed he is so bad off).  I told Steve that everyone's physical needs will be met in our house this week from me, but that is about it.

My life in pictures:

Trying to find things to do indoors for the little one, she has watched more movies in the last few days then she has in her lifetime

Food, clean diaper and a little loving is about all I can give him right now

It looks worse in person, if you look at his waist he is leaning towards his right

My house a complete mess, still trying to put Christmas away but can't seem to get more than a few minutes at a time to work on it.

This is the mess outside, thanks to Brad and Spencer from church who came and blew off our driveway this morning. We also had a sweet neighbor Amy who had shoveled half of it earlier in the morning

My sanity time, a few minutes drinking a hot drink, I imagine I am either in the mountains listening to the woods or on the beach, warm and listening to the waves. Using mental imagery for my sanity :)

There are so many people who have been such a help. Thanks to my MIL who came over for a quick trip on Sunday to help and a special thank you to everyone who has brought us meals. That has been a huge blessing, I know my family will at least get one meal each day :)  This too shall pass. 

Colton

I know Colton isn't the most unique name, but we really don't know many people named Colton. It isn't a name that when we say it people often tell us of so-and-so that they know who is named Colton. So the other day I was flipping through Pottery Barn Kids and this is what I saw

My first thought was "great, now this name will become popular." I guess if it does, oh well.

People have asked if we are Indianapolis Colt fans because Peyton Manning and the Colts. Steve does like them, but they had no influence on our decision for naming our children.  We just had the names Payton and Colton, now for #3, we will be back to the drawing board as those were the only 2 names we had. 

Thank you

I want to thank those of you who reached out to me after my emotional post yesterday. I am so touched and encouraged by your words.  I am surrounded by such great people, I am well aware of it. Thank you to each of you for your authentic words. Just to mention a few of you that have touched me. (There are so many more people that support and love me, these are just a few of my real life and blog friends). The nicknames are from me and link to their respective blogs.

Thanks to Lindsay (Mrs. I have 3 boys under 3 and I sneeze and my kids are born)   She is my companion walking this journey together as her 3rd little guy was born 5 days before Colton. She understands the hormones and stresses. She also happened to move her whole house by herself the few weeks after having her son. We both want to seem like we have it all together, but are seeking to be honest with ourselves, we do need help at times. Funny story was we talked a day last week when we both "had to get out of the house" and both found ourselves at Target looking at Christmas clearance (without knowing the other one had done the same thing).

Thanks to Alina (Ms. Creative on a dime) who threatened me that if I don't take her up on her offer for help, she will hunt me down

Thanks to Carrie Beth (Mrs. I  have the 2 cutest girls that always match in adorable outfits) for opening up about how hard it was for her at first with 2 little ones as well. She has 2 of the cutest little girls and I am sure at their current age (almost 2 and almost 4) there are different challenges then at first, but thanks for the encouragement that it gets better.

Thanks to Sara (Mrs. I know how to talk about good food and cute little boys) for reminding me that this is a season. She called me when her little guy was about this age trying to figure out how to get him to sleep more, how to get him on a schedule, how to do things right. I remember telling her this phase will pass and he will get on a schedule and you won't go crazy. She can now dish that right back to me.

Thanks to Amy (Mrs. I understand what it is like to live far from family) who I know gets the difficulties of having little kiddos (she is almost due with her 2nd) and living far from families. Ironically, she is from KS and lives a few miles from my family in Orlando as I live a few miles from her family here in Olathe.

Thanks to all my neighbors who have already helped and have offered help with watching kids and bringing meals. Thanks to my MOPS friends who have brought some yummy food.

Thank you to all the others who sent encouraging words as well.  I could go on with so many more names, know that your comments are so touching to me and some made me laugh and some made me cry. 

This will pass, I will sleep again, my hormones will right themselves, my children won't have to go to counseling when they are older because I let one of them cry why I took care of the other, I will have date night with my husband again, and I will have time to curl my hair one day and look like a real human being again. 

They are both worth it :)

Travels

So if you read my last post, you read that I was quite lonely over the Holidays. Steve took the week between Christmas and New Years off and we decided instead of staying home by ourselves, we would travel to Southern Missouri to spend some time with both sets of his grandparents on their respective farms. I am very glad we did.  Even though I was worn out from traveling with a newborn who wasn't sleeping well and a 2 year-old that that ended up having the flu, I was so thankful for our time with family.  Steve grandparents aren't getting any younger and I know they delight in time with family, so it was a great trip. 

Payton dancing with Papa Southards. He has done this every time he has seen her since she was born.

Granny joining in on the music

I love seeing Payton laugh while dancing with Papa. I know it is hard on Papa's body as she is getting heavier, but I believe the joy he receives from it is worth it to him

Papa and Granny Southards with the kiddos

Really they are excited about seeing the kids, but we get to join in as well :)

We were fortunate to see Steve's Aunt Brenda (his dad's sister) and Uncle Fred as they were visiting as well

Papa and Granny Coats - Payton wasn't too sure about that silly Papa

We were able to stay with Steve's Aunt Karen and Uncle Tom down at the Coats farm. Their youngest daughter Whitney was home from college and we had a great time catching up with them.

Steve's parents visited us in KC this past weekend, bringing Steve's younger brother Ben to meet Colton as he was taking finals for school when Colton was born.  We had a great low-key weekend with them at home.  Payton was sick with the flu while we traveled and she passed it along to me, as I woke up Sunday morning with it. I was so thankful for Steve's parents being here to be extra hands while we were sick (unfortunately Payton must have passed it to a few of the family members we visited as some of them got sick after we left). Payton didn't get sick until the middle of our trip and I do have to say she handled it much better than I did. I am also very thankful for my wonderful neighbor/friend Sara, who took Payton Monday morning and this morning for a bit so I could rest up and regain my health. I am a blessed person with the people in my life.

Smiling faces

 

This was our family snapshot taken on Christmas Eve at Church (someone else took it with their camera and I had to crop it, sorry for the poor quality). Steve spoke that evening and did an excellent job. It was very touching because he was able to speak about our child just being born to us, and then about "a child was born unto us" being Jesus.  You can check the sermon out HERE.

Here is a pic that we used for Colton's announcement and Steve showed on Christmas Eve

 So why is this post called "Smiling faces?" Sure we were smiling in our picture for Christmas Eve, but there hadn't been much smiling on my face during that week.  So many of us read other's blogs and look at facebook pictures and see smiling faces.  We don't know the story behind the smile.  

There were a few days right around Christmas that I was crying much more than smiling.  It started the day before my mom left to go back to Florida and lasted for a few days.  I felt bad for Steve, he really didn't know what to do for me.  I tend to be a pretty emotionally stable person, so when I had this breakdown, my poor husband tried to help but really was left helpless.  He would ask what I was crying about and I would say that I was crying about everything and nothing all at the same time.  Here are a few of my thoughts about why the tears flowed so easily

1. HORMONES!!!! I have to give hormones some credit. The "baby blues" as some call it.  I know it was some hormones because I cried over silly little things like the pediatrician's receptionist being rude to me, and dinner plans falling through. Things that happen every day that normally I wouldn't blink an eye about, made me want to crawl in a hole and cry. I don't remember being that emotional with Payton, but a few of the other factors might have contributed.

2. Holidays - I tend to get very lonely here in KS around bigger holidays.  It feels like (I know this isn't the complete reality, but it feels this way to me) that everyone here in KS has family near by. If they aren't right in town, they can make a quick drive to spend the holiday's with the ones they love.  It isn't that simple for us. We can't drive to FL that quickly and because of Steve being in ministry we don't have the opportunity to spend the actual holiday with his family in St. Louis. I remember Easter last year trying so hard not to cry at church because I watched as families came into church together, excitedly talking about their Easter plans.  I so long to live near my family, but I know the reality is that might never happen again. This year with the Hormones and other factors, I had a really hard time with that. I do believe this was a big factor in my tears, I would cry so easily if I thought about my family being together celebrating or about others spending time with their family.

3. Lack of Sleep - Another factor had to be my lack of sleep. This really hasn't improved much over the past few weeks. Payton slept well from day 1, we were spoiled. Colton is probably more typical.  Most nights I was getting about 3-4 hours of sleep. Some nights less, very few nights more.  (Last night I got about 7 and feel like a million bucks).  I do not do well with lack of sleep. I have always loved going to bed early and getting a good nights rest.  Lack of sleep wears on my patience (especially with my almost 2 year-old's attitude) and my emotional stability.  I understand this is a newborn phase and it will pass. This "phase" though has about convinced me that I only want 1 more child (combined with the fact I don't enjoy being pregnant and really could do without labor and delivery). Colton has spent many nights screaming all night long, not allowing for much sleep to take place. I believe he has gas problems and we are working on solutions for that.

So yes, we are smiling in our picture, but Christmas wasn't that fun for me. My 2 year-old spent a lot of time in timeout on Christmas day and ended up going to bed early without dinner because she was having such meltdowns at the dinner table.  Once she was in bed, my husband and I silently ate our lobster dinner as we were both so exhausted. I cried over that too, Christmas is supposed to be a celebration, I didn't experience that this year. 

I am not looking for sympathy with this post. I know I am such a blessed individual that has an amazing husband and family who loves me. I am blessed beyond description in my life, but Christmas was hard and I wanted to share that, because too often we share all the wonderful things about life and people can get the wrong idea. Everyone has bad days or weeks.

I am better now, it has been over a week since I have shed tears :)

Thanks to those who have read this whole post and listened to my ramblings.