"My Happy Place"

It is one of those mornings that all 4 kids are a complete mess. Our fault for keeping them out late last night but it is worse than I expected. 2 little ones were down for naps by 10am!

Great morning to try my new adult coloring book! Steve asked if I was going to my "happy place" while coloring. My dear husband prays for me every morning that "the Joy of Lord would be my strength!" I believe God has been so faithful to answer that prayer.

We have 4 young, loud, active kids. I wouldn't have it any other way (even sweet, "quiet in public" Presley has a streak to her at home). Some days I handle that better than others. Recently I feel like the Lord has been so faithful to give me peace in the middle of the chaos. Rocking Stetson (really manhandling because that boy is strong) this morning while he was kicking and screaming I could laugh and softly tell him that God has big plans for his power and determination. Then put him in his crib to finish releasing his energy and he quickly fell asleep.

I really believe my patience these days comes from grounding myself in God's word every morning. My word for 2016 is Intentional (another post will follow about that). Sleep has been a minimum since moving over a year ago (really since Stetson's birth 20 months ago). I used being tired as the reason I couldn't get out of bed early in the morning. I woke with the kids.

A couple months ago, I decided no matter how tired I was, I was going to rise a little earlier than the kids. I know myself well enough to know that rising early in the morning and starting my day grounded in the word, makes all the difference for me. Most mornings the middle 2 kiddos wake up much earlier than I prefer and find themselves cuddled up on the couch next to me. This used to really frustrate me as this was "my" time and I was sacrificing sleep for it only to have a child up early too. I have created boundaries with them and showed them what 7 o'clock looks like on the clock and let them know that they are welcome to join me and sit quietly but I will not help them with anything until the clock says 7. They may read, but there are no toys, no technology, no breakfast, no help from mommy until 7am. They need gentle reminders most mornings, but it is working.

My patience for the kids, my attitude, my outlook in general are all so affected by how I start my day and how lay my life before the Lord, submitting it all to Him and asking Him to fill me in a way only He can. Now, I also have one more tool in my toolbox to keep myself in "my happy place"... coloring.

Kids being kids

Let me preface this post by saying, many of our days are at home and monotonous. I am so thankful to be able to stay home with the kids but many days I lose my patience and am overwhelmed. My house is a mess (I often look around our home and think "Wow, it looks like 4 little kids live and play here!") So please don't look at this post and see a fun adventure and believe every day is like this one in the Southards' home. Most days are just like your days (if you are home with little ones). Cleaning up messes, breaking up fights, keeping a 16-month old from falling off the dining room table he now climbs or keeping him from pulling a fistful of hair from one of his sisters, watching tantrums unfold in a 2-year-old and reminding her I am the boss, trying to help a passionate 4-year-old understand his emotions and learn to control them, and helping a 6-year-old with her spelling words, build confidence in herself and to be grateful with all of our blessings.

But there are some days, we get out and explore. I love being outside and now Stetson is down to one afternoon nap, we have freedom to go out in the morning. This is the perfect time of year as fall is absolutely amazing here in Ohio. 

This past week, the kids and I were going to go for a walk in the woods. Where we live in Ohio, there are some amazing parks that have trails through the woods. There are so many we have yet to explore. This particular day we were just going to appreciate the fall weather, find leaves and rocks and let kids be outside enjoying nature.

We ended up finding a part of the trail I had not been on before and we found a place to get near the river and let the kids throw rocks into the water.

It started as nicely standing by the edge of the water throwing rocks and turned into, soaking wet, almost naked kids running around getting themselves so messy.

I have learned that kids are often having the most fun when they are a mess. So I have learned to get out of my box and let them be kids and get themselves messy. Even if it means, going home nearly naked and having to grab all new clothes before heading to a lunch meeting at church.

These are the days I love being at home, watching our kids be kids!

Best week of my life

Ok, the title might be a little exaggeration but it was one of the best weeks in the last 7 years.

Steve and I got away kid free for almost a week!

Since having kids Steve and I have been diligent about getting away annually for a night or two, but there is something so different about being away longer. Due to me breastfeeding each of the kids so long, and then usually being due with another baby soon, we had not had many windows of opportunity to get away for longer. We did get away for an extended time after our miscarriage and my health scare 3.5 years ago, but I was recovering and didn't have energy for much adventure that trip. It was a great time to rest and rejuvenate, but I wouldn't classify it as fun. 

We fly a couple times a year and I had been waiting almost 7 years to fly without a child, to walk on the airplane with a hot drink, knowing I could enjoy it at my leisure and not have a baby or toddler crawling all over me.

Needless to say, I was a little giddy flying out with just my husband by my side.

We went out to Phoenix to spend 3 days with a counselor out there who specializes in working with pastors and their wives. So yes, the first few days were spent with a guy pointing out the areas of marriage and ministry we needed to work on (in regards to marriage I had a longer list than Steve) and it was still an amazing week! Steve and I value staying Fit (physically, emotionally, spiritually and relationally) so we welcome feedback from trusted sources on ways to improve in any of those areas. We really came away with some practical tools to implement in our marriage to grow more as "one."  I personally believe every marriage could use a tune-up every so often to stay on track and find ways to work together better. 

Top of Camelback Mountain in Phoenix

 This Florida girl had never seen the dessert before and those big cactus had me laughing. They looked like they belonged in a kids book. We hiked Camelback mountain (in Scottsdale) one morning which I was not at all prepared for. I wouldn't call it a hike, I would call it rock climbing, I felt like we were scaling boulders for the last half mile. We had a blast doing it and I felt a sense of accomplishment as we reached the top. Especially since one of the locals said he was impressed we were "tourist" because we had a such a quick pace up the mountain. There might just still be a bit of competitive spirit in this once-upon-a-time athlete, that I enjoyed hearing that comment. 

We then blitzed Sedona and the Grand Canyon in 24 hours. We did a sunset Jeep tour in Sedona.

 

It was fast and furious but being so close to the Grand Canyon I would have hated to miss it. Steve had been there before, but it was my first time. We did a short 3 mile hike at Grand Canyon that felt like a piece of cake compared to the hike at Camelback. 

My Mom flew in from Florida to watch the kiddos and we were so so grateful for her to allow us that time away. We had many other local friends helping her as we wanted her to have a great experience so she would come back and do it again! The counselor recommended we get away annually like this and we are all for that. It was so much fun being just husband and wife, without being dad and mom. One of the best things we can do for our kids is invest in our marriage, so even though one of our kids begged us to come home on day 2 of the trip, we let them know that is was super important for mommy and daddy to have time alone so we could kiss a lot. That made them cringe and not ask any more questions.

Closing one chapter and starting a new one

2 weeks ago I weaned Stetson 

88 months ago I found out I was pregnant with Payton

In the last 88 months I have spent:

44 months pregnant

52 months breastfeeding

8 months pregnant and breastfeeding

4 months not pregnant or breastfeeding

Gained and lost 150 pounds

Held 4 new babies in my arms

Sent 1 baby to heaven earlier than expected 

I am so so thankful for each one of our babies and for the fact I was able to breastfeed.

The chapter of having babies and nourishing them from me has ended. 

These past 7+ years have given me a glimpse of sacrificial love. 

We close this chapter and look forward to what the future holds.

 A little trip down memory lane

PAYTON

I went 1 whole month longer, 2.5 weeks overdue!

Payton 6 months old and she had cheeks!

COLTON

PRESLEY

STETSON

 

And now we are a family of 6, starting a new season of life!

Buster Buster BUSTER

 I love 3-year-olds.

I love how their minds are putting things together and exploring the world around them.

They become little people and conversations can become so robust.

They say the funniest things and words as they are figuring out vocabulary.

Colton is so much fun most of the time.

He has the silliest personality and loves to make people laugh.

He usually has a big grin on his face.

He is already a story teller and wants people's attention and loves to make people laugh.

He is a ball of energy.

He is active and passionate.

He is also amazing destructive and sometimes drives me crazy.

The picture on the left is just an example of his self expression through tattooing himself up. This is how Steve found him after nap one day. He had just woken up, hence the drugged looking face, and his pillow case was covered in blue. We keep taking markers and hiding them and he is a pro at finding ones sister has used and left around the house. Unfortunately he has colored himself like this many times.

Just this week this wonderful 3-year-old has explored the world around him by:

- Tested gravity by throwing my iPad off our second story balcony (gravity won and shattered the iPad) * note - the iPad was deliberately placed high on a dresser, but he got a stool and climbed up to reach it. ** 2nd note - he threw my nice camera and brand new lens over the same balcony a year ago (his college fund is dwindling with repair costs)

- Ran away twice from me at church, one time finding himself in the parking lot and our church is on a very busy street, second time he was running laps in the dark basement without a care in the world. Let me tell you that this momma cared. So if you see him holding my hand and not running around with the other kids this week, you will know why.

- Tested his artistic abilities by decorating his sisters sheets with a pen (markers are all up too high)

- Most meals he considers cause and effect as he pours his drink or food all over the place, or mixes food and drink together or uses his fist to smash whatever food he can. He is getting quite experienced at cleaning up.

- Passionate, EVERY SINGLE RESPONSE IS PASSIONATE

This boy drives me wild and crazy all at the same time. 

Worst Day of Her Life

Payton recently told me she had the worst day of her life (this is the day before she told me I am the worst mom ever). She is starting to learn to express herself with different emotional words. I am now "the best mom ever" when I give her what she wants and "the worst mom ever" when she doesn't get what she wants or she suffers consequences for her choices. Thankfully I am confident in my mothering abilities and realize there will be many more times I chose something unpopular with my daughter and she won't like it, that is fine with me. I tell her I love her even when she thinks I am the worst mother (don't worry that I have wanted to say, "oh I will show you the worst mother ever!" Then I remember she is 4 and might not need that lesson for 10 more years).

I digress.....my poor 4-year-olds worst day ever

Sure enough, I made my children have a shaving cream fight.

As we cleaned off and came inside she was ticked off that she had to get wet in the hose and told me it was her worst day ever. 

Poor sheltered child, you have been too long in Johnson County if this is your worst day ever.

Time to be a kid

There are many days I rush through the day, am busy with my agenda or schedule and miss the sweetness of my children. Today was NOT one of those days. This morning we took a walk, without the clock dictating us, we enjoyed a walk in the woods. There is a paved trail near our house that I have walked before, but never realized how many off-the-path trails there were. With the eyes and adventure of a 2 year-old and 4 year-old we enjoyed our sweet time walking and picking up rocks, sticks and just enjoying nature. I had in mind the destination of a playground, and we did make it there, but the kids didn't want to play long, they wanted to wander back through the woods taking it all in. It was just me and the kids, I was able to watch, listen and enjoy the sweetness about them.

I want my children to look back upon their childhood and remember being kids. 

Not being dragged from one activity to the next, not having to keep things clean, not having a mom stressed out yelling at them, but time to just be a kid. 

A kid wandering through the woods, 

a kid throwing rocks in the water, 

a kid walking barefoot with no regard to the rugged ground below. 

A kid with time to look at the interesting trees, 

time to sit still and listen to the noises of the woods. 

A time to be a kid.