Best week of my life

Ok, the title might be a little exaggeration but it was one of the best weeks in the last 7 years.

Steve and I got away kid free for almost a week!

Since having kids Steve and I have been diligent about getting away annually for a night or two, but there is something so different about being away longer. Due to me breastfeeding each of the kids so long, and then usually being due with another baby soon, we had not had many windows of opportunity to get away for longer. We did get away for an extended time after our miscarriage and my health scare 3.5 years ago, but I was recovering and didn't have energy for much adventure that trip. It was a great time to rest and rejuvenate, but I wouldn't classify it as fun. 

We fly a couple times a year and I had been waiting almost 7 years to fly without a child, to walk on the airplane with a hot drink, knowing I could enjoy it at my leisure and not have a baby or toddler crawling all over me.

Needless to say, I was a little giddy flying out with just my husband by my side.

We went out to Phoenix to spend 3 days with a counselor out there who specializes in working with pastors and their wives. So yes, the first few days were spent with a guy pointing out the areas of marriage and ministry we needed to work on (in regards to marriage I had a longer list than Steve) and it was still an amazing week! Steve and I value staying Fit (physically, emotionally, spiritually and relationally) so we welcome feedback from trusted sources on ways to improve in any of those areas. We really came away with some practical tools to implement in our marriage to grow more as "one."  I personally believe every marriage could use a tune-up every so often to stay on track and find ways to work together better. 

Top of Camelback Mountain in Phoenix

 This Florida girl had never seen the dessert before and those big cactus had me laughing. They looked like they belonged in a kids book. We hiked Camelback mountain (in Scottsdale) one morning which I was not at all prepared for. I wouldn't call it a hike, I would call it rock climbing, I felt like we were scaling boulders for the last half mile. We had a blast doing it and I felt a sense of accomplishment as we reached the top. Especially since one of the locals said he was impressed we were "tourist" because we had a such a quick pace up the mountain. There might just still be a bit of competitive spirit in this once-upon-a-time athlete, that I enjoyed hearing that comment. 

We then blitzed Sedona and the Grand Canyon in 24 hours. We did a sunset Jeep tour in Sedona.

 

It was fast and furious but being so close to the Grand Canyon I would have hated to miss it. Steve had been there before, but it was my first time. We did a short 3 mile hike at Grand Canyon that felt like a piece of cake compared to the hike at Camelback. 

My Mom flew in from Florida to watch the kiddos and we were so so grateful for her to allow us that time away. We had many other local friends helping her as we wanted her to have a great experience so she would come back and do it again! The counselor recommended we get away annually like this and we are all for that. It was so much fun being just husband and wife, without being dad and mom. One of the best things we can do for our kids is invest in our marriage, so even though one of our kids begged us to come home on day 2 of the trip, we let them know that is was super important for mommy and daddy to have time alone so we could kiss a lot. That made them cringe and not ask any more questions.

Closing one chapter and starting a new one

2 weeks ago I weaned Stetson 

88 months ago I found out I was pregnant with Payton

In the last 88 months I have spent:

44 months pregnant

52 months breastfeeding

8 months pregnant and breastfeeding

4 months not pregnant or breastfeeding

Gained and lost 150 pounds

Held 4 new babies in my arms

Sent 1 baby to heaven earlier than expected 

I am so so thankful for each one of our babies and for the fact I was able to breastfeed.

The chapter of having babies and nourishing them from me has ended. 

These past 7+ years have given me a glimpse of sacrificial love. 

We close this chapter and look forward to what the future holds.

 A little trip down memory lane

PAYTON

I went 1 whole month longer, 2.5 weeks overdue!

Payton 6 months old and she had cheeks!

COLTON

PRESLEY

STETSON

 

And now we are a family of 6, starting a new season of life!

Music for my soul

Music has a way of reaching my soul. An intimate time of worship is such an intimate conversation between my heart and God's. It doesn't even have to be in a church corporate worship time. Some of the most intimate moments have been by myself listening to music whether in the car or at home.

These past few months there have been a few songs that have really been powerful to me and our time of transition and seeking the Lord's direction for our lives.

Oceans by Hillsong United

This song was my prayer during the months we prayed over the decision to leave Olathe and move our family to Ohio. All the words of the song were so appropriate with our decision to leave our home, friends, and church we loved so much to move to a place we never imagined we would live and start over.

"Oceans" lyrics

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

[6x]
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

Oh, Jesus, you're my God!

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine 

Wake Up by All Sons & Daughters

We sang this song our last day at Indian Creek and it was the first time I had heard it. The last few lines that are repeated was a perfect prayer as we worshiped one last time in Olathe, heading to Ohio.

here we stand our hearts are yours, Lord
not our will but yours be done, Lord

 

Lyrics:

We have seen the pain
that shaped our hearts
And in our shame
We're still breathing, 'cause

We have seen the hope
of your healing
Rising from our souls
is the feeling
We are drawing close
Your light is shining through
Your light is shining through

Wake up, wake up, wake up
wake up all you sleepers
Stand up, stand up
Stand up all you dreamers
Hands up, hands up
Hands up all believers
Take up your cross, carry it on

all that you reveal
with light in us
will come to life
and start breathing, 'cause

here we stand our hearts are yours, Lord
not our will but yours be done, Lord (3x-4x) 

My Heart is Yours by Kristian Stanfill

Ironically I heard this last song in person at IYC this past July. I worked on staff backstage and met the Passion band. I thought it was a great song, but at the time my heart and mind were so cluttered with busyness of just having a baby (5 week old) and traveling to Nashville for a week with all the kids.

Right after I took the picture above, I drove out of Olathe with only Stetson in the van. Steve had left a few days earlier with the older 3 kids so it would be easier for us and the packers to load up our home. I was about an hour outside of Olathe, Stetson was asleep and I was praying about the whole transition. This song came on the radio and this time my heart was so ready for it. Those were the only tears I cried in this transition. My heart was overflowing with sadness about the chapter that was closing, but with great expectancy for what God had for the future. We knew God had asked us to go, so the words in this song were a great prayer that day. 

I give You my life
I give You my trust
Jesus
You are my God
You are enough
Jesus

My heart is Yours
My heart is Yours
Take it all
Take it all
My life in Your hands

I lay down my life
And take up my cross
Jesus
For You are my God
Whatever the cost
Jesus
For You, Jesus

All to Jesus I surrender
All to You I freely give
I will ever love and trust You
In Your presence I will live 

This past week I was worn out. Stetson is up 3 times a night since the move and at least 1 of the other kids is usually up as well. One night this past week I was up 6 times with the kids and I woke up wanting to stick my head in a hole and call in for a day off. I was completely exhausted and could tell I had no patience for the kids, as they were acting like kids :) 

Thankfully we have become friends with a wonderful lady named Sandy here in Ohio. She has been a huge blessing and frankly the kids ask for me to leave so she can come over. Both her daughters are grown and married, no grandkids of her own, and she has loved on our children and she is truly gifted to work with them. She finds ways to bring life lessons into almost every situation and is able to speak to the kids on their level so well. 

This particular morning after no sleep, Sandy was already planning on coming over, instead of running errands with out kids, I went to a local coffee shop and turned my worship music up super loud in my ear phones and had a time of restoration for my heart. It is amazing what an hour of worship music can do to my soul. As I got back in the van to head home, My Heart is Yours came on, I felt like God was almost winking on me, reminding me that He has me covered.  

Personalized Jewelry

 What you may ask is that adorable necklace I am wearing? 

Ok you didn't ask, but I wanted to mention a new jewelry line I recently found and love.

Origami Owl, it is a unique jewelry line that allows you to create and customize your own lockets and necklaces.  There are a ton of varieties of lockets, chains, charms and dangles to choose from.  Not one creation is alike because it is YOUR design and completely personalized!  It's all about what you like. One more thing I like is the lockets are magnetic and you can switch out charms as you please.

I decided to throw my own party to get the word out about the jewelry and if you are local, you are invited!

Wednesday July 17th @ 7pm @ my house (email for address and directions)

If you haven't seen Origami Owl before I urge you to take a look at our designer Kerry's website at  http://ksvendsen.origamiowl.com/

For those of you that cannot make it or are not the party type, but would like to place an order, feel free to email Kerry with any questions or place an order on Kerry's website, and shop from my party.  All you do is choose my name upon checkout. 

Feel free to forward this invitation to your friends, family, neighbors and/or bring anyone with you that might be interested in having some fun too.  The more the merrier!

There will be a day when...

There will be a day when...

My husband comes home from work and we can sit and talk uniterrupted

I will be able to take as long as I want to get dressed

I won't be woken up at night for feedings, diapers or nightmares

My house will be clean

My laundry will be caught up (well that might one might not happen)

I can make dinner without tripping over toys or children

I won't feel like a servant cooking and cleaning up ALL day long

I can decorate how I want without worrying which 2 hands will see this as an object to throw

My kitchen floors won't be covered in crumbs (only reason I want a dog)

I won't hear the arguing in the back seat

I won't be the mom of "that child" having the public meltdown

I won't have to dress little bodies, tie shoes and carry a bunch of coats in the winter

I can run errands whenever I want without figuring out how to keep multiple little bodies near me or who can watch them

I will be able to sit and read a book or magazine without interruption

I won't have a closet full of different size clothes that fluctuate with my body weight from babies

I can exercise without having to work around feeding schedules so I don't have full boobs knocking me out while I run/move

I will have an actual waist again

I won't have to referee the hair pulling

I can have a date night with my husband without the logistics of who watches the kids

My day won't revolve around nap schedules

But there will be a day I miss...

Little hands holding mine

Big eyes on sweet faces that think I know everything

Afternoons watching them run free at the park

Excitement all over their faces

Contagious laughter

Watching my uninhibited children using their imagination for all sorts of things

Sweetly rocking my baby to sleep

Nurturing a body on breast milk alone

Cuddling and reading books together

Having the ability to heal boo boo's with kisses and hugs alone

Them wanting to be near me at all times

Feeling my unborn child move inside me

Watching them play and make up games together

Watching them defend each other to other kids

Them thinking I am cool

My husband and I sitting on the couch watching them play

Watching my 2-year-old be a BOY 

Laughing inside as my 4-year-old tries to use words she has heard but doesn't know the meaning of

Feeling like I can still protect them from this world

Listening to their innocent prayers and view of God

There are seasons of life. 

Every season has it's good days and bad.

Today I feel like I can't catch up with life.

This is my reminder that this season doesn't last forever and I am so thankful for the wonderful things I experience now.

Home to me

Olathe, KS is home to me. 

There, I said it, this once-so-prideful-to-hail-from-Florida-girl has become a Midwesterner at heart. 

Last night Steve and I attended a gathering of pastors from churches all over Olathe. Many of these men have served in their same churches 25+ years, pouring their very heart and soul into Olathe. Gary Kendall, our lead pastor is one of them. Our Mayor was there to encourage us, and my heart stirred knowing those men's stories (long-term ministry here) could very well be our story. Steve and I knew when we moved here 5 years ago that this could be home for a long time. We looked at the city wondering if this would be the only city our kids knew as home. Some pastors move around a lot, some stay for the long-run. We are completely open to God moving us, but last night I felt in my heart again, that this is home, for now, for awhile, and possibly for a very long time. I want to set my roots here, dig my teeth into this city. I want my heart to break for the things around this city that break the heart of God. I want to commit to serve my city, finding ways to use my God-given gifts to bless the lives of others. I want to be a part of a team of leaders in our church that are passionate to reach the people all around them for Christ. 

So Olathe, you have taken up big-time real estate in my heart. I thank God for that, and I thank God for the people all over this city. For the ones I already call friend and those I don't know yet. 

I am thankful for airplanes that can still get me to my family in Florida in 3 hours. The pieces of my heart that are still in Florida are in my family there. And I still have a little pride when it comes to bleeding orange and blue (Gators my friends) not red and blue (Jayhawks) like so many here, but hey we all have areas we are working on. 

Baby Shower

Yesterday a few friends threw a baby shower for baby girl. It was such a treat to get some adorable girlie things and some great handmade items. Even though we have a girl, most of Payton's clothes are hand-me-downs so it is nice to get a few fresh items for baby girl. Payton also never wore bows, I am hoping this one will be a little more prissy, so we got tons of bows! We got a handmade quilt, handmade blanket, handmade hooded towel with her name on it, a beautiful scripture for her wall, a knitted owl hat and so much more (including diapers)! She is set up well for cuteness :) It was so wonderful to spend some time with my girlfriends as well with no kids around.

There were 5 of us prego at the shower, here we are in order of due date

Another cute belly shot

My girlfriends who threw the shower for me.

If you are reading the banner, we have most likely decided on Presley as her name. If it changes she will have a shower with Presley all over it and a bath towel with Presley as well :) We are 95% set on it, so pretty good chance. Payton loves it because she will have a "P" like her :)

Thanks to all my friends who made it such a wonderful day!

Resemblence

Maybe I am trying too hard to prove that my son resembles my family because my daughter is completely a Southards. This post and This post show my determination. I have always said that he looks like my little brother. Well when mom was here over Christmas she brought a few pictures. Check this out

Ladies and Gentlemen, that is me at 22 months old and Colton at 24 months.

He does have some of Steve's head shape, but when I saw that picture of me, I really saw the resemblance.

I am curious to see what baby sister is going to look like.

What a difference a year makes

One year ago I was laying in the ICU, receiving a blood transfusion and fighting for my life (quite unaware how bad I really was). We had just miscarried at 16 weeks and my body was fighting itself after the surgery to remove our baby. You can read all about it HERE, HERE, HERE.

Fast forward a very rough year for me. If you somewhat follow me at all you know I have been on physical and emotional roller coasters this past year.  I was reflecting on the whole situation and I stand in such a place of gratitude. Grateful for my life, for God's hand so evident in my life and for perspective. I am more excited about the arrival of baby girl then I think I was for either of my other children. Not just because this pregnancy has been harder, but I have a new appreciation for every little healthy life. 

We are not promised an easy life. We will experience trials, but I believe there is a good God watching over us. I believe he walked so intimately with me during that loss and trial. I have a different appreciation for my relationship with him since that time. 

I was looking back over pictures of my trip with Steve to the beach right after our miscarriage and my health scare. Remember, the Lord had a trip on the calendar for just me and Steve (no kids) less than one week after I went through everything. I remember it being such a peaceful time, and even now looking back at the pictures I am overcome with peace. I was reading THIS post about our time and came across this quote again that a girlfriend had text me while at the beach

"When we give God the highest glory, He gives us His deepest peace"

God was so faithful, we did our best to glorify him throughout the process and he was so good to give us such deep rooted peace. 

So here we sit a year later, grateful, humbled, forever changed.

Merry Christmas to me :)

I ordered a gift for myself 2 months ago and it finally came! I knew it shipped a few days ago and I have been watching the mail! I have been wanting a monogrammed necklace and took a long time to decide exactly which one as I wanted it to be classic and something I would wear for a long time.  It wasn't cheap either (for a deal girl like me) but I have money saved up still from last Christmas and birthday, so it was time to spoil myself a bit. I got a Moon and Lola Monogrammed necklace from Swell Caroline. I am so pleased with it. My daily jewelry has become so simple, this might just become the newest every-day-wear piece for me.