Steve and I have been loving the beach. God is so good that He had this scheduled for us to rest here instead of the cold Midwest. Physically I have had a few reminders of what I went through last week. I feel great most of the day, but my body has told me when I have pushed it too far. Just going to church and being up doing things Sunday morning, my body was worn out by mid-day. Our first morning at the beach we got up and took a walk right away, my body wouldn't let me go go that far. Ironically I forgot my running shoes (would like to say that I surely wouldn't have run, but it was in the back of my mind), I think that was God reminding me to rest :)
Steve said he is glad that my body won't let me do so much, forcing me to rest. I think I have the false sense of health since I really do feel great most of the time. Steve reminds me I lost almost 40% of my blood, the body needs time to heal. Our family doctor keeps texting Steve checking on me and Steve asks him for permission for me to do things (like go deep sea fishing on Friday).
I really can't say how grateful I am for this time as husband and wife to laugh together and cry together. I have had such fun with my best friend. Today we read the journal that Steve had written for our baby (Steve has a journal for each of our children that he writes in from the time we know we are pregnant). His prayer for our baby was it would know it has a destiny, that it is meant for a purpose for this time in God's story. I couldn't help but think that this baby's life was very short lived, but it served it's purpose at this time in God's story. We are so humbled that our story has touched, encouraged and challenged so many others. This baby's life had a purpose! Now it rests in the arms of Jesus!
I have had some emotional triggers this last week. I have some wonderful girlfriends that are due within weeks and even days of my due date. As much as I love those ladies (who have also experienced loss and trials in pregnancy) I have been brought to tears because of the reminder of what we have lost. I am sure there will be many more triggers, that is part of the healing process, we will take each one as they come.
The following quote a girlfriend text me the other day and it is so applicable for our current journey we are on.
"When we give God the highest glory, He gives us His deepest peace" Pastor Steven Furtick
God has been so faithful to us. He has blessed us way beyond what we deserve. Not only has He had his hand of protection over us (the more medical people we talk to the more we realize how series and dangerous DIC is, many people are not as fortunate as me) but one of the greatest gifts we have received from the Lord is peace. Peace throughout and over this whole situation. That is a supernatural gift.