Colton

I know Colton isn't the most unique name, but we really don't know many people named Colton. It isn't a name that when we say it people often tell us of so-and-so that they know who is named Colton. So the other day I was flipping through Pottery Barn Kids and this is what I saw

My first thought was "great, now this name will become popular." I guess if it does, oh well.

People have asked if we are Indianapolis Colt fans because Peyton Manning and the Colts. Steve does like them, but they had no influence on our decision for naming our children.  We just had the names Payton and Colton, now for #3, we will be back to the drawing board as those were the only 2 names we had. 

Thank you

I want to thank those of you who reached out to me after my emotional post yesterday. I am so touched and encouraged by your words.  I am surrounded by such great people, I am well aware of it. Thank you to each of you for your authentic words. Just to mention a few of you that have touched me. (There are so many more people that support and love me, these are just a few of my real life and blog friends). The nicknames are from me and link to their respective blogs.

Thanks to Lindsay (Mrs. I have 3 boys under 3 and I sneeze and my kids are born)   She is my companion walking this journey together as her 3rd little guy was born 5 days before Colton. She understands the hormones and stresses. She also happened to move her whole house by herself the few weeks after having her son. We both want to seem like we have it all together, but are seeking to be honest with ourselves, we do need help at times. Funny story was we talked a day last week when we both "had to get out of the house" and both found ourselves at Target looking at Christmas clearance (without knowing the other one had done the same thing).

Thanks to Alina (Ms. Creative on a dime) who threatened me that if I don't take her up on her offer for help, she will hunt me down

Thanks to Carrie Beth (Mrs. I  have the 2 cutest girls that always match in adorable outfits) for opening up about how hard it was for her at first with 2 little ones as well. She has 2 of the cutest little girls and I am sure at their current age (almost 2 and almost 4) there are different challenges then at first, but thanks for the encouragement that it gets better.

Thanks to Sara (Mrs. I know how to talk about good food and cute little boys) for reminding me that this is a season. She called me when her little guy was about this age trying to figure out how to get him to sleep more, how to get him on a schedule, how to do things right. I remember telling her this phase will pass and he will get on a schedule and you won't go crazy. She can now dish that right back to me.

Thanks to Amy (Mrs. I understand what it is like to live far from family) who I know gets the difficulties of having little kiddos (she is almost due with her 2nd) and living far from families. Ironically, she is from KS and lives a few miles from my family in Orlando as I live a few miles from her family here in Olathe.

Thanks to all my neighbors who have already helped and have offered help with watching kids and bringing meals. Thanks to my MOPS friends who have brought some yummy food.

Thank you to all the others who sent encouraging words as well.  I could go on with so many more names, know that your comments are so touching to me and some made me laugh and some made me cry. 

This will pass, I will sleep again, my hormones will right themselves, my children won't have to go to counseling when they are older because I let one of them cry why I took care of the other, I will have date night with my husband again, and I will have time to curl my hair one day and look like a real human being again. 

They are both worth it :)

Travels

So if you read my last post, you read that I was quite lonely over the Holidays. Steve took the week between Christmas and New Years off and we decided instead of staying home by ourselves, we would travel to Southern Missouri to spend some time with both sets of his grandparents on their respective farms. I am very glad we did.  Even though I was worn out from traveling with a newborn who wasn't sleeping well and a 2 year-old that that ended up having the flu, I was so thankful for our time with family.  Steve grandparents aren't getting any younger and I know they delight in time with family, so it was a great trip. 

Payton dancing with Papa Southards. He has done this every time he has seen her since she was born.

Granny joining in on the music

I love seeing Payton laugh while dancing with Papa. I know it is hard on Papa's body as she is getting heavier, but I believe the joy he receives from it is worth it to him

Papa and Granny Southards with the kiddos

Really they are excited about seeing the kids, but we get to join in as well :)

We were fortunate to see Steve's Aunt Brenda (his dad's sister) and Uncle Fred as they were visiting as well

Papa and Granny Coats - Payton wasn't too sure about that silly Papa

We were able to stay with Steve's Aunt Karen and Uncle Tom down at the Coats farm. Their youngest daughter Whitney was home from college and we had a great time catching up with them.

Steve's parents visited us in KC this past weekend, bringing Steve's younger brother Ben to meet Colton as he was taking finals for school when Colton was born.  We had a great low-key weekend with them at home.  Payton was sick with the flu while we traveled and she passed it along to me, as I woke up Sunday morning with it. I was so thankful for Steve's parents being here to be extra hands while we were sick (unfortunately Payton must have passed it to a few of the family members we visited as some of them got sick after we left). Payton didn't get sick until the middle of our trip and I do have to say she handled it much better than I did. I am also very thankful for my wonderful neighbor/friend Sara, who took Payton Monday morning and this morning for a bit so I could rest up and regain my health. I am a blessed person with the people in my life.

Smiling faces

 

This was our family snapshot taken on Christmas Eve at Church (someone else took it with their camera and I had to crop it, sorry for the poor quality). Steve spoke that evening and did an excellent job. It was very touching because he was able to speak about our child just being born to us, and then about "a child was born unto us" being Jesus.  You can check the sermon out HERE.

Here is a pic that we used for Colton's announcement and Steve showed on Christmas Eve

 So why is this post called "Smiling faces?" Sure we were smiling in our picture for Christmas Eve, but there hadn't been much smiling on my face during that week.  So many of us read other's blogs and look at facebook pictures and see smiling faces.  We don't know the story behind the smile.  

There were a few days right around Christmas that I was crying much more than smiling.  It started the day before my mom left to go back to Florida and lasted for a few days.  I felt bad for Steve, he really didn't know what to do for me.  I tend to be a pretty emotionally stable person, so when I had this breakdown, my poor husband tried to help but really was left helpless.  He would ask what I was crying about and I would say that I was crying about everything and nothing all at the same time.  Here are a few of my thoughts about why the tears flowed so easily

1. HORMONES!!!! I have to give hormones some credit. The "baby blues" as some call it.  I know it was some hormones because I cried over silly little things like the pediatrician's receptionist being rude to me, and dinner plans falling through. Things that happen every day that normally I wouldn't blink an eye about, made me want to crawl in a hole and cry. I don't remember being that emotional with Payton, but a few of the other factors might have contributed.

2. Holidays - I tend to get very lonely here in KS around bigger holidays.  It feels like (I know this isn't the complete reality, but it feels this way to me) that everyone here in KS has family near by. If they aren't right in town, they can make a quick drive to spend the holiday's with the ones they love.  It isn't that simple for us. We can't drive to FL that quickly and because of Steve being in ministry we don't have the opportunity to spend the actual holiday with his family in St. Louis. I remember Easter last year trying so hard not to cry at church because I watched as families came into church together, excitedly talking about their Easter plans.  I so long to live near my family, but I know the reality is that might never happen again. This year with the Hormones and other factors, I had a really hard time with that. I do believe this was a big factor in my tears, I would cry so easily if I thought about my family being together celebrating or about others spending time with their family.

3. Lack of Sleep - Another factor had to be my lack of sleep. This really hasn't improved much over the past few weeks. Payton slept well from day 1, we were spoiled. Colton is probably more typical.  Most nights I was getting about 3-4 hours of sleep. Some nights less, very few nights more.  (Last night I got about 7 and feel like a million bucks).  I do not do well with lack of sleep. I have always loved going to bed early and getting a good nights rest.  Lack of sleep wears on my patience (especially with my almost 2 year-old's attitude) and my emotional stability.  I understand this is a newborn phase and it will pass. This "phase" though has about convinced me that I only want 1 more child (combined with the fact I don't enjoy being pregnant and really could do without labor and delivery). Colton has spent many nights screaming all night long, not allowing for much sleep to take place. I believe he has gas problems and we are working on solutions for that.

So yes, we are smiling in our picture, but Christmas wasn't that fun for me. My 2 year-old spent a lot of time in timeout on Christmas day and ended up going to bed early without dinner because she was having such meltdowns at the dinner table.  Once she was in bed, my husband and I silently ate our lobster dinner as we were both so exhausted. I cried over that too, Christmas is supposed to be a celebration, I didn't experience that this year. 

I am not looking for sympathy with this post. I know I am such a blessed individual that has an amazing husband and family who loves me. I am blessed beyond description in my life, but Christmas was hard and I wanted to share that, because too often we share all the wonderful things about life and people can get the wrong idea. Everyone has bad days or weeks.

I am better now, it has been over a week since I have shed tears :)

Thanks to those who have read this whole post and listened to my ramblings.

Colton @ home

We are almost 1 week down at home.  Sleep the first night was really rough. Every night has gotten a little better. I am so thankful to have my mom here, she is a huge help.  Mom leaves tomorrow, then Steve will be off next week.

Payton has adjusted well. She is so sweet to her baby brother, she has been trying to the adults though, showing off her colors. 

Here are some pics:

Going home from hospital

Arriving home, Payton was so excited, running around saying "baby brother"

Payton got her own new baby too, she was feeding her baby as I was feeding mine.

Payton got an early Christmas present from Papa and Gigi that was a doll set for her new baby

She has been busy with her doll in the her pack n play, bouncy seat, car seat and more

His eyes are not open very much. Maybe an hour a day. As I looked at pictures from Payton's first week home, the look very similar. You can tell they came from the same parents :)

Payton loves holding and kissing baby brother

I love this picture!

We are so thankful for our Christmas Gift!

Colton David Southards

Colton has arrived!

Colton David Southards
Dec. 16th
3:37pm
7 lbs 13 oz
20 inch

13 1/4 in head

Little man is wonderfully healthy! Steve is a little worried that his sister might have to defend him since she was 1 pound larger and her head was 1 whole inch larger! He is in the sleepy stage right now. I am fighting him to stay awake just to eat, but he seems content right now.

For those who care about the details of the delivery:

Leaving for hospital, Steve thought he was funny acting like my belly weighed a lot!

We arrived at the hospital a little after 7am. We are now 2 for 2 with being induced, I am not sure what it feels like to arrive at a hospital in labor, not having your wits about you. After getting checked in and settled in our room Dr. Snider came in to check on me. I asked if we could just break my water and not start pitocin and he was game.  He checked me and I was 3 cm and 70% effaced.  He tried to break my water but had a little difficulty because Colton's head was so low against the sac there wasn't much fluid cushioning.  For the next 5 hours I walked the floor, got monitored for a bit, walked the floor, got monitored and walked the floor. At one end of the hall Steve and I would stop and do squats. I am sure I did well over 150 squats. At one point my "coach" aka Steve was critiquing my form for my squats, I wasn't too thankful for the advice.  We saw the same nurses and other visitors over and over as we walked. I figured I made some progress but I still felt really good.

On a side note here, my nurse Christy was amazing. She was a true blessing. She was probably as close to having a midwife or doula as one could get for being a nurse in a hospital. She really took her job seriously in taking care of me and being my advocate. She knew I wanted to be as free from drugs as possible and took it upon herself to help me in that process. 

1pm Dr. Snider comes in and sees my happy disposition and can tell I haven't progressed much and he asks if I am ok starting pitocin. We agree to the smallest amount possible and for a short duration.  I am check and have only gone from 3cm to 4cm in the 5 hours of walking and squatting.  So the pit drip starts.  My contractions hit hard immediately. I can't get comfortable, my whole body freezes and tenses up during each contraction that I started begging for an epideral.  Christy knew I wanted to try without, so she suggested stadol to help take off the edge. As she put that in my IV I kept having contractions about 1-2 minutes apart that didn't give me rest and I couldn't stay calm. After 2 contractions with the stadol, I was finally able to control myself.  I still felt A LOT, but I was able to work with the pain and "ride" the contractions. I was very focused and didn't want any noise. It was just me and Steve in the room and I wanted silence. 

Yes my husband took a picture of me "in the zone"

I really didn't open my eyes for over an hour, I just worked through the contractions.  After 1 hour of pitocin, they stopped it because I was progressing. In that hour I went from 4 - 6cm.  The next hour, on stadol I went from 6-9. I progressed quickly. I started feeling the intensity of the contractions again and asked for more stadol as it last for about an hour and was running out. Christy said she had to check me first because if I was too close to delivery she couldn't give me anymore.  That is when I was checked to be a 9! People started bringing all sorts of things in for delivery and I was still in the zone. I really didn't think I was that close. When I had to urge to push (Christy said I would know, and boy did I know) she said to give her a trial push, so I started to and she quickly told me to stop.

She picked up the phone and called for the Dr. She said she could see his head and that he was coming. I have heard of women whom are told to not push when they have the urge because the Dr wasn't there for the delivery, I always said that I don't know how you don't push when you have the urge.  Well, I panted, that is what they said to do. I thought in my head that if the Dr wasn't there soon, I would push and a nurse would just have to deliver the baby, I am sure they had done it before. 2 contractions later the Dr was there (He had been told to be on high alert as I was progressing quickly) and he let me push. It only took 1 contraction of pushing for him to come out.  It hurt!!!!!!

Our little man had arrived. I will spare the details of the rest of the yucky part of delivery and the pains that were experienced down south.  After having 1 epideral delivery and 1 non-epideral delivery, I believe drugs are wonderful. I guess I can say I am glad that I experienced a "mostly drug-free" delivery because I really got to feel my body doing what it was created to do. But as of right now, if #3 baby results in an induction (pitocin) I will probably just go ahead and get the epideral and "enjoy" the delivery.

All that to say, I am thankful for a healthy little guy!

Payton was trying to figure it all out in the hospital

Mimi and little man

Papa and Gigi with Payton

More is caught then taught

Payton has a new manger scene that she absolutely loves. She plays with it everyday, feeding the animals, feeding the people, playing music, and moving them all around the house.  The other day she started doing this...

Where are Mary and Joseph you might ask ...

Payton takes them across the room somewhere, places them together and says "Date, baby Jesus mommy and daddy, date, no baby"

But as she then explains that the mommy and daddy always "Be back"

It amazed me that she has picked up on the concept of Steve and my "Date night." We go on dates nearly every Thursday and we leave her with different people all the time. We are so grateful for neighbors and church friends who watch her for us. I tell her that mommy and daddy always come back for her.  I love that she knows that dates are for mommy and daddy, and no baby. I hope she is learning that our world does not revolve around her, our marriage is our first priority.  A healthy family/home life begins with a healthy marriage.  People told us when we first got married to never stop dating each other, even after the wedding vows and especially after the children. We carve out money in our tight budget for our date nights, we know it will probably get harder and more expensive with more children, but we make it a priority and it is evident to me that our child notices. I pray that one day, when Payton is a married woman and a mom, she doesn't forget date nights with her husband.