team southards

Monday, August 1, 2016

Our Fixer Upper

Team Southards closed on a home in Ohio! What an almost 2-year journey this has been. We never imagined it would take so long to find a home here, it has been quite an experience. The home is a complete fixer upper, in fact if I would have seen this house 2 years ago I would thought this was a great opportunity for someone else, but we aren't renovation people and this house is a dump! Well, we now own the dump.

I started a post with all the details and lessons we have learned these last 2 years, but it is taking awhile to finish up. (One of those posts you actual put thought and reflection in to). So I am jumping ahead to this house and will finish that post later.

The home was a foreclosed Fannie Mae property. The back story is the home was built in 1973 by a retired cop. It is a very solid built, brick wrapped home. Everyone who knows homes and has walked through this home talks about how solid it is. The gentleman and his wife who built the home, took great care of the home (inside and out, we are told it had the most beautiful flower gardens) for over 30 years, until passing away and leaving the home to their son. Unfortunately the son was not able to maintain the home and the bank took it back at the beginning of this year.

Listing picture

I saw the home listed for a couple weeks before we even looked at it. The first picture on the listing was not very appealing. Being a Fannie Mae home, the pictures were poor and there were no pictures of the property. There was also no sign posted in the front yard. I believe if there was a sign in the yard, the home would have had more traffic. People would see the property and be interested in the opportunity. The listing price was also in a range that those who could afford that price, could not afford the amount of money needed for renovations. There are many brick ranches built in the early 70's in this area, so this home's listing could have been easily seen and quickly passed over. I did that a few times, before I started looking further into this property.

When we finally walked through the home, I was so excited! A few of the selling points for me. Those front windows you can see in the picture are 6 feet tall! All the windows in the house are very generously sized. There is one wall dividing the kitchen and the living area that I knew we could take down that would allow for an open floor plan. I could stand in the kitchen and see the whole front and back yard. The property is 4 acres but is narrow so it can all be seen from inside the living area. Looking at the google maps picture, the road is at the very bottom of the picture and our property runs along the tree line. Our home is set between 100-150 yards off the road. We own the whole woods behind our home, to the top of the picture.

I also had a vision to vault the ceilings in the kitchen/dining/living area. We are waiting for quotes this week to find out if that is a reality or not. I would really love to vault the ceilings but not at the expense of breaking our renovation budget.

Besides the property, the open concept potential and the windows, the last selling point for me was walking into the mudroom. The garage and mudroom were added in the 80's. Very few new homes have such a large mudroom, let alone a modest ranch built in the 70's. For a family with kids, this is amazing! In our current rental we have been in since moving to Ohio, the door from the garage is right into our family room/kitchen area. I hung 3M hooks trying to find temporary systems for our family, but half of them have fallen down and we have a constant battle with back packs, shoes and jackets in the winter. The mudroom had me sold.

It is a 2300 sq ft ranch with a full unfinished basement that we plan on finishing and adding a bedroom and bathroom for guests. There are 3 generous bedrooms upstairs. The boys will be sharing and the girls will be sharing.

I will do another post soon with renovations plans, and finish up more of the whole housing story. But without further ado, here are the before pics of "The Dump" (the bank did clean the house up before they listed it, so it isn't as bad as it could have been)

Looking out from house to front yard - trees are full or leaves now, this was taken a few months ago

View of backyard from deck

Front room to the right when you walk in front door. Those are the 6 foot windows! Gold shag carpet

Looking back towards the front door

Kitchen on the back side of the front room wall

The door to the right is the mudroom/laundry room and the railing is for the basement stairs

Looking towards the kitchen from the 1/2 bath at the end of the mudroom. Garage door to left and door to backyard to the right.

Hall towards bedrooms - left of the front door

Girls room with cherry red carpet

Boys room with avocado green carpet

Kids bathroom complete with a blue tub and blue carpet!

Master bedroom

Master bedroom with Barney purple carpet!

Master bathroom that is the size of a postage stamp. I do not think someone could enter the tiny shower to the right while someone was going to the bathroom

Full unfinished basement with a shuffle board

I am happy to say that almost EVERYTHING will be stripped out of this house! Demo started this past weekend!

Saturday, February 6, 2016

"My Happy Place"

It is one of those mornings that all 4 kids are a complete mess. Our fault for keeping them out late last night but it is worse than I expected. 2 little ones were down for naps by 10am!

Great morning to try my new adult coloring book! Steve asked if I was going to my "happy place" while coloring. My dear husband prays for me every morning that "the Joy of Lord would be my strength!" I believe God has been so faithful to answer that prayer.

We have 4 young, loud, active kids. I wouldn't have it any other way (even sweet, "quiet in public" Presley has a streak to her at home). Some days I handle that better than others. Recently I feel like the Lord has been so faithful to give me peace in the middle of the chaos. Rocking Stetson (really manhandling because that boy is strong) this morning while he was kicking and screaming I could laugh and softly tell him that God has big plans for his power and determination. Then put him in his crib to finish releasing his energy and he quickly fell asleep.

I really believe my patience these days comes from grounding myself in God's word every morning. My word for 2016 is Intentional (another post will follow about that). Sleep has been a minimum since moving over a year ago (really since Stetson's birth 20 months ago). I used being tired as the reason I couldn't get out of bed early in the morning. I woke with the kids.

A couple months ago, I decided no matter how tired I was, I was going to rise a little earlier than the kids. I know myself well enough to know that rising early in the morning and starting my day grounded in the word, makes all the difference for me. Most mornings the middle 2 kiddos wake up much earlier than I prefer and find themselves cuddled up on the couch next to me. This used to really frustrate me as this was "my" time and I was sacrificing sleep for it only to have a child up early too. I have created boundaries with them and showed them what 7 o'clock looks like on the clock and let them know that they are welcome to join me and sit quietly but I will not help them with anything until the clock says 7. They may read, but there are no toys, no technology, no breakfast, no help from mommy until 7am. They need gentle reminders most mornings, but it is working.

My patience for the kids, my attitude, my outlook in general are all so affected by how I start my day and how lay my life before the Lord, submitting it all to Him and asking Him to fill me in a way only He can. Now, I also have one more tool in my toolbox to keep myself in "my happy place"... coloring.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Kids being kids

Let me preface this post by saying, many of our days are at home and monotonous. I am so thankful to be able to stay home with the kids but many days I lose my patience and am overwhelmed. My house is a mess (I often look around our home and think "Wow, it looks like 4 little kids live and play here!") So please don't look at this post and see a fun adventure and believe every day is like this one in the Southards' home. Most days are just like your days (if you are home with little ones). Cleaning up messes, breaking up fights, keeping a 16-month old from falling off the dining room table he now climbs or keeping him from pulling a fistful of hair from one of his sisters, watching tantrums unfold in a 2-year-old and reminding her I am the boss, trying to help a passionate 4-year-old understand his emotions and learn to control them, and helping a 6-year-old with her spelling words, build confidence in herself and to be grateful with all of our blessings.

But there are some days, we get out and explore. I love being outside and now Stetson is down to one afternoon nap, we have freedom to go out in the morning. This is the perfect time of year as fall is absolutely amazing here in Ohio.

This past week, the kids and I were going to go for a walk in the woods. Where we live in Ohio, there are some amazing parks that have trails through the woods. There are so many we have yet to explore. This particular day we were just going to appreciate the fall weather, find leaves and rocks and let kids be outside enjoying nature.

We ended up finding a part of the trail I had not been on before and we found a place to get near the river and let the kids throw rocks into the water.

It started as nicely standing by the edge of the water throwing rocks and turned into, soaking wet, almost naked kids running around getting themselves so messy.

I have learned that kids are often having the most fun when they are a mess. So I have learned to get out of my box and let them be kids and get themselves messy. Even if it means, going home nearly naked and having to grab all new clothes before heading to a lunch meeting at church.

These are the days I love being at home, watching our kids be kids!

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Best week of my life

Ok, the title might be a little exaggeration but it was one of the best weeks in the last 7 years.

Steve and I got away kid free for almost a week!

Since having kids Steve and I have been diligent about getting away annually for a night or two, but there is something so different about being away longer. Due to me breastfeeding each of the kids so long, and then usually being due with another baby soon, we had not had many windows of opportunity to get away for longer. We did get away for an extended time after our miscarriage and my health scare 3.5 years ago, but I was recovering and didn't have energy for much adventure that trip. It was a great time to rest and rejuvenate, but I wouldn't classify it as fun.

We fly a couple times a year and I had been waiting almost 7 years to fly without a child, to walk on the airplane with a hot drink, knowing I could enjoy it at my leisure and not have a baby or toddler crawling all over me.

Needless to say, I was a little giddy flying out with just my husband by my side.

We went out to Phoenix to spend 3 days with a counselor out there who specializes in working with pastors and their wives. So yes, the first few days were spent with a guy pointing out the areas of marriage and ministry we needed to work on (in regards to marriage I had a longer list than Steve) and it was still an amazing week! Steve and I value staying Fit (physically, emotionally, spiritually and relationally) so we welcome feedback from trusted sources on ways to improve in any of those areas. We really came away with some practical tools to implement in our marriage to grow more as "one." I personally believe every marriage could use a tune-up every so often to stay on track and find ways to work together better.

Top of Camelback Mountain in Phoenix

This Florida girl had never seen the dessert before and those big cactus had me laughing. They looked like they belonged in a kids book. We hiked Camelback mountain (in Scottsdale) one morning which I was not at all prepared for. I wouldn't call it a hike, I would call it rock climbing, I felt like we were scaling boulders for the last half mile. We had a blast doing it and I felt a sense of accomplishment as we reached the top. Especially since one of the locals said he was impressed we were "tourist" because we had a such a quick pace up the mountain. There might just still be a bit of competitive spirit in this once-upon-a-time athlete, that I enjoyed hearing that comment.

We then blitzed Sedona and the Grand Canyon in 24 hours. We did a sunset Jeep tour in Sedona.

It was fast and furious but being so close to the Grand Canyon I would have hated to miss it. Steve had been there before, but it was my first time. We did a short 3 mile hike at Grand Canyon that felt like a piece of cake compared to the hike at Camelback.

My Mom flew in from Florida to watch the kiddos and we were so so grateful for her to allow us that time away. We had many other local friends helping her as we wanted her to have a great experience so she would come back and do it again! The counselor recommended we get away annually like this and we are all for that. It was so much fun being just husband and wife, without being dad and mom. One of the best things we can do for our kids is invest in our marriage, so even though one of our kids begged us to come home on day 2 of the trip, we let them know that is was super important for mommy and daddy to have time alone so we could kiss a lot. That made them cringe and not ask any more questions.

Friday, September 25, 2015

God's plan

God has a plan that is always better than ours, but He isn't going to force his plan upon us. He gave us free will to choose his path or our own. So many times we get it wrong, think that maybe he is sleeping on the job, and cling to our plan, our way, control things so they make sense to us.

The times I have humbly walked the journey seeking His face and asking for wisdom to follow his plan, he has been so faithful to answer those prayers.

Sometimes when seeking direction he gives us the choice, sometimes he clearly directs our steps.

One year ago this week, we committed to moving our young family across the country to a city we did not know, to a people we did not know. All because Steve and I seek to serve God and follow his plan.

Dayton is a very steady place, people don't move a lot (unless you are military as the Air Force has huge base here, we often get the question if we are military from people we meet out and about, because not a lot of young families move here). Many young mom's I have met say things like "you are so brave," "I could never leave my family," "I couldn't do that."

If you are a follower of Christ who seeks to glorify him and serve him in all you do, yes, you too would do this. Because if you have walked with the Lord long enough, you too have learned that it is much better to be in a foreign city while being in God's plan, than being in a familiar place where you are comfortable, following your own plan for you life.

It doesn't have to be moving either, God might be calling you to do something out of your comfort zone that you are dragging your feet in fear of the unknown. It seems easier to be safe in your plan that to boldly step out in faith. But friend, you are missing out if you are playing it safe.

Steve spoke this past June at a conference called Be Bold. His sermon is a great reminder of why we chose to move our 4 little kids away from a church and community that we absolutely loved, to go to a place that we never thought we would live. Take some time and listen to his sermon and ask God to challenge you and show you an area of your life he wants you to Be Bold.

http://www.jesusisthesubject.org/be-bold-reclaim-convention-videos/

(go down to Session 4, for some reason I couldn't get it loaded)

We have been humbled to see what God has done this last year after we took one step of obedience.

Right before we moved I did a Beth Moore study "Children of the Day" with some ladies at Indian Creek. There was a scripture that stuck out to me big time and became my prayer for our move to Salem and my prayer for our relationship with the people of Salem and with the community around it.

1 Thessalonians 2:8

Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.

I am doing the exact same study right now with new women at Salem and I was rereading over that scripture during my time in the word one morning this week. I have been using an old Bible of my Father's that I found during our move for my study recently. He has it all marked up and I have enjoyed reading some of his notes. When I started reading that scripture in his Bible, I couldn't believe what I saw.

You see, my parents were on staff at Salem for about 3 years, just enough time to bring me and my little brother into this world and leave an impact on people here. There are many at Salem that remember me about Presley's age running around. I do not have any memories of our time here as I was about 3 years old when we moved. Thirty years ago my parents were praying that exact same scripture over their time at Salem.

I thank my parents for raising me and my brothers to love The Bride (the local church) and they gave us an amazing example how to share both the gospel and authentic lives with others.

I was reminded that we are on God's timeline and plan. Salem is 120 years old. Our family is only here for a blip on that large timeline. God has used so many amazing men and women over the years to lead and serve at Salem and we are just humbled that he has chose us for a time like this.

And to think, if we had chosen "our" way to stay put and stay comfortable, we would be missing this amazing ride!

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Is this Home Sweet Home?

Team Southards has put an offer on a house this week.

It is a long story that started finding this home over a year ago before we had even fully committed to moving to Dayton.

God's hand has been all over this situation from the beginning.

We have looked and looked at other homes, and this one has come on and off the radar over the last year, but we knew through prayer the time was not right before.

Our prayer the whole time has been to either clear wide the path to this home or slam the door shut if it is not a wise move for our family.

Most recently, the path has been cleared and we are taking steps until we end up with the house or the door is shut.

We are dealing with the banks (it is a short sale).

We have very specific prayers we are praying that I will share if we end up with this home. I will also share the whole story about the home because it has been such a journey of growing and waiting.

Asking others to join us in prayer for this home.

Praying for:

- God's hand to either clear the path or shut the door

- Favor with the bank

- For the details to work out in a way that leave people scratching their heads wondering "how that happened?" allowing us to give God the glory

This home is on 5 acres with a creek, pond, woods, and a ton of area for the kids to run around and be kids and for us to host people in our home.

Thanks so much for joining us in prayer!

Just a glimpse of the home, this is where I would be having my morning quiet time and coffee