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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

The mental game of waiting



I am ready for this little girl to arrive. Technically I have 3 more days to my due date that is on my charts but my early ultrasound and all my measurements actually had me due last Sunday the 10th. The 16th was my due date according to my cycle (which was not consistent since the miscarriage) and I was the one that actually chose to keep the 16th as the due date to give myself more time to go on my own. But somewhere in my head I had the idea that this might actually be my one child to go early on their own. Payton was induced 2.5 weeks overdue and Colton was induced 1 week early (he had Christmas Eve due date and we totally induced so he wouldn't have a birthday right at Christmas). 

With both Payton and Colton I had very little activity showing signs of labor. Nothing really with Payton and very few Braxton Hicks contractions with Colton. The pregnancy I have been having "signs" for almost a month. I was convinced my body was prepping to go on it's own. For the last few weeks I keep thinking "this might be the day." Symptoms I have keep playing tricks with my mind thinking I might be going soon.

I have tried so many of the wives tales, walking, spicy food, sex, and more. Nothing yet. Yesterday was the breaking point for me. I went to the Dr to have my membranes stripped. This has pretty much worked for almost everyone I know. I took the picture above yesterday really thinking that would be my last day pregnant and wanted to get a picture. Unfortunately due to her low head position that was making my cervix opening point backwards my Dr could only partially strip the membrane, he physically couldn't get to the back part of my membrane. He didn't seem too optimistic about it working, and needless to say we are 24 hours past it and nothing. 

This morning I woke discouraged, really hoping to be done. I am so grateful that I am healthy and that I can carry babies, this isn't a whine fest, just a tired momma. It really would be convenient (I know babies don't come when it is convenient) for her to come now. Since we don't live near family, and we have 2 kids that need to be taken care of when we go into labor, it isn't as easy as just calling parents over whenever we need them. Bless my in-laws they are 4 hours away and keep waiting for the call. Mom comes in town next week and Steve is supposed to travel at the end of next week, so logistically it would be nice for her to come NOW :)

I don't think I have mentioned that this pregnancy I have Carpel Tunnel in my hands. They have been in pain and numb for 6 weeks now. It is due to the excessive swelling in my hands. I have not experienced this in either of my other pregnancies and it has been hard to do much. There are a few sewing projects to finish up the nursery that I can't do because of my hands. Even typing this is weird because the tips of my fingers are all numb. I have been told this should go away within a few days of delivery as the swelling goes down.

So sister, we wait for you to come. My Dr said that he seems to see a pattern in women, you tend to always go early, right on time or late. I guess I am a late one. Even as I sit here and have multiple contractions while typing this, I have learned to not get excited, they don't mean anything is happening. I am excited for her arrival and know she won't come out a toddler, so she will be out one way or another soon. In the meantime, I am trying to keep my mind off delivery and not assume every sign is pushing me towards delivery. 

I think these 2 are tired of the waiting game too :)


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