We are evening the playing field in our home. We are so excited to be having another boy joining our family in May. Today I am halfway there, 20 weeks. And he shall be called
We had Stetson picked out, and didn't' even think of a girl name unless we had to. We actually had this name for Presley. We had an early ultrasound that had something "protruding" between the legs, and even though the tech said girls can protrude like that, I thought I knew more than her and we were having another boy. Steve had chosen Stetson Edaward (Stetson because we liked the name and Edward which is Steve's middle name) for Presley and I loved it. Once we found out we were having a girl, Steve was disappointed in the sense that he didn't give Colton his middle name Edward (Colton David is from the Biblical character King David). I swore I was done having kids since Presley's pregnancy was so difficult and my body had been through so much the year before that. So as Steve is lamenting the fact he didn't give any part of his name to probably the only son he would have, he starts to look up girl names. As he is looking at different meaning of girl names, he happens to look at the meaning of Stetson, which means "Son of Stephen!" I couldn't believe it. He just said he wished he gave his son more if his name and now he had a name that means Son of Stephen Edward. I looked at him and said "you are going to make me have another kid so you can have your stinkin Son of Stephen!"
That conversation over a year ago really did change my heart towards having 4 kids. Even as recent as about the time I got pregnant with Stetson (not knowing I was pregnant) I was really enjoying the older 2 kids and desiring to move out of the baby stage and asked God if we could be done and I felt him tell me No, we had one more. Selfishly, I wanted to be done. I don't love pregnancy. I am so so very thankful that my body is able to make and carry babies and they are such a blessing each and every one of them, but I don't really enjoy the pregnancy or the baby stage. I wrote about it HERE 6 months prego with Presley and HERE during my first trimester with Presley. I am not a women who says she loves being pregnant. I am so thankful to be able to be pregnant, but in my mind it is one of the most selfless things I do.
Every baby has a purpose and destiny. Even our baby Stevie who never left the womb alive to experience the world we live in, had a purpose. That baby's short life inside of me touched the lives of so many. But Stetson definitely feels God ordained. We had just casually begun to pray about what God's plan for our family was. Is it 3 or 4 for us? We don't want to control or miss out on God's plan for our family. Since Presley was so little we hadn't really prayed or discussed the topic too much. I knew I could get pregnant breastfeeding as Colton was 9 months and still breastfeeding when we got pregnant with baby Stevie (we do refer to the baby we lost as baby Stevie as that is what Steve and Payton called the baby while inside of me). I had 2 cycles though before we got pregnant with that baby. So we knew that in a few months we would have to take precautions as we sought God's plan for our family.
Well God had another plan. I never had a period and started feeling nauseous right after Presley was 6 months old. Of course if you are a woman of childbearing years, if you experience nausea your mind goes to pregnancy, but I really just thought my hormones were regulating and that was causing the sickness and fatigue. Presley had also started waking 6 times a night acting like she was starving. I would feed her, only to have her wake in another few hours to want to feed again. I was exhausted and perplexed from that. I had never had milk supply problems with the other 2, so I really didn't consider that could be the cause of her waking and fussiness. Now looking back I realize my supply had dropped (from being prego) and poor thing was hungry and not getting much from me. When I figured that out and started her on a bottle (which she had really never taken well her whole life), she was so hungry that she took the bottle like a champ and never looked back.
Off my tangent story (this is all really for my memory than anything else). Finally after being sick for almost 2 months I figured I would get a pregnancy test just to rule out pregnancy. That was a Sunday because I remember sitting in the front row of church listening to Steve preach, feeling like I needed to vomit immediately. Also the idea of coffee (which I had been drinking more of because Presley wasn't sleeping at night) made me want to vomit, which is a pregnancy sign for me. I bought 5 test (side note: The Dollar Store has pregnancy test for $1, much cheaper than anywhere else). I figured I would take 2 now and they would be negative then I would have some back-ups for if we tried for a 4th baby. I came home with the tests that afternoon and took it immediately. Steve was playing with all kids in the family room and I was in the half-bath right near him. The double line immediately showed up and I just started laughing. I could not believe it. We were pregnant again!
We went to the doctor to have an ultrasound because we really had no idea how far along we were. He kinda laughed when we saw him saying he was seeing us a little earlier than he expected. He has 6 kids himself so he loves big families. He told us you ovulate once before you have your period, and that ladies and gentlemen, is all it takes.
We had posted this picture of our family picking apples online and we knew we were pregnant at this point, but no one else knew. A friend from church came up to me on Sunday after seeing this picture with tears in her eyes saying that when she saw this picture she felt the Lord tell her that our "quiver was not yet full!" We shared that she was indeed correct as we had another blessing growing and we were all so grateful for God's goodness in our life.
So Stetson Edward Southards will be finishing up our family come May. Steve and I have such peace about being done after him. We so look forward to his addition, can't wait to know him and love him. And if you ask me right now, I am grateful and thankful for this season of having kids but look forward to the new chapter of not being pregnant. I have had so many people here in Olathe tell me that they have only known me pregnant. Which is somewhat true as we got pregnant with Payton 2 months after moving here and this is our 5th pregnancy in 6 years of living here.