Saturday, March 10, 2012

It will get worse before it get's better

Those are the words my surgeon said after my D&E and DIC. He said that emotionally and physically I would get worse before I got better. I heard him say that, but thought maybe that wouldn't be the case for me. I really did feel pretty good right away. Actually the first month I felt great and emotionally had a few low points, but nothing that wiped me out.

Then a month ago I got Bronchitis. Even with medication, physically I have not been completely healthy this whole last month. I have some major sinus junk that medicine, vitamins, and rest does not seem to be helping. I would guess that my body is just weaker right now and it will take longer for health to be restored. I have had migraines the last few mornings, after restless nights of intense sinus pressure. Physically I am exhausted.

It was the emotional meltdown last weekend that really caught me off guard. I had my first cycle since the surgery, but my emotions were off the map. I cried over everything and nothing all at the same time. I tend to be the "tough" girl that doesn't let her hormones get the best of her, well they worked me over this last week. Last Sunday I left in the middle of church, because I knew if one person asked me how I was doing, I would fall apart. I didn't go back in the evening to a really special service we had where couples renewed their vows because I was still a hormonal mess.  

So now I am a believer of it gets worse before it gets better. I am hoping and waiting for the better. Physically I want to be healthy again. I signed up for a 1/2 marathon in May, I need to get healthy to start training. Emotionally I am ok now. I am learning to be ok with days that the hormones might just get the best of me. That won't be my new normal, but some days are just hard. 

On a brighter note (I don't like too much negativity) the weather has been great. Yesterday afternoon Buster got his first haircut. Technically he has had a few hairs clipped before, but daddy got out the ole clippers and gave him a fade. I wish I had a picture, it was a family affair. I held him on my lap, Steve cut his hair, while sister stood in front of him feeding him a Popsicle. He looks so much older.

By the way, little man has all his teeth, including molars, except the 4 "I" teeth.

Taking full advantage of the nice weather, we did a picnic at the park and played on the playground.

I couldn't help but take this last picture. The 3's really have been good for us, so far much easier then the 2's (I am hoping the really hard work we did in the 2's is paying off). The last 2 days though sister has been pretty whiny.  She complains that her legs hurt or her belly hurts when it is time to do something she doesn't like. We were going to walk around the lake at the park and she wanted me to carry her. I wouldn't carry her so she had her fit in the grass. The family walked to the van to leave and after screaming for a bit, she got up and decided to join us. Tantrums used to throw me off,  I have noticed when I am calm, they seem not to last as long. When she doesn't have her audience, the show is over pretty quickly. Oh the learning process of parenting :)


  1. I love the haircut, you gotta love the fits of little girls. They can be so dramatic sometimes, but then so sweet and loving!

  2. Praying the worst is over for you! Beautiful pictures!