2011 and 2012

My last POST I shared the "How To" for my year-end review and goal setting for each year. Let me break it down for me personally (I always like seeing how things play out personally, I relate better to that then just some "How To".

Well this year I didn't follow the format :) I did my "30 before Thirty" goals, which were more than enough to keep me busy for the year, so this past year I broke the rules (I like breaking appropriate rules). This year is also different because as I reviewed how I have been doing with my 30 before Thirty goals, I still have 2 months to finish them. There are some goals I won't be able to reach, I am ok with that. Here are the few goals I will focus on that I realistically may reach in the next 2 months.

2. Sew something for myself

3. Use an electric saw to make something

5. Play a soccer game

6. paint an "artist" piece

8. go to a museum

11. make wedding photo book

20. write a letter to each immediate family member

21. reupholster chair

23. make sushi (this might have to be something else since I can't have raw fish)

My review of my journal from 2011

(I kinda laugh to myself, because many blogs I read showed the review of their best projects from 2011, my life didn't involve many fun projects, my life this past year has been focused on the people in my life)

• The first half of the year I was exhausted, Colton was very difficult, screaming the first 2 months of his life, Steve's scary back injury, Payton being 2, the flu going through our house twice during all this chaos, Payton's broken arm, and my body and hormones recovering while worn out. 
• The second half of the year my journal entries reflect such contentment in life. I was so thankful for my life, the people in it, and the place I call home.
• June - I spent time thinking of why I am different because the Lord is in my life. I don't have a major turnaround in my life as in giving up addiction or radical life change, but through reflection and prayer I became aware and so grateful for His work in my life. (I might do a whole post on these things, because it is that important)
• July- I was once again reminded that my way isn't the right way. This is especially true in my view of parenting. I love the topic of parenting, I read books all the time on the subject, I discuss it with people. But as in many areas of life, there are many ways to do the same thing. What works for me, might not work for others. My viewpoint isn't always right. This is a great lesson to learn in many areas of life and I am so thankful for growth in this area, it has released me from what could be considered a judgmental spirit.
• This year big decisions were made (through prayer and fasting) on our rental house in Florida. We have put it on the market and pray the Lord's favor in releasing us from this home. This home has been a thorn in our side, but at the same time has kept us so dependent on the Lord, because we can not control it.

2012 Goals

Family

  Steve 

• intentionally build him up with my words in front of others (especially the kids)
• the year of sex (not going to go into too many details here, hello his mom and grandma do read the blog) - I really want to focus on not using excuses of tired and pregnant for not having sex. Mom's of young kids and babies know how exhausting it can be to be pulled on and sucked on all day from kiddos, that you really don't want another person physically all over you once the kids are asleep. That isn't going to fly anymore, my relationship with my husband (all aspects) is the most important relationship (beside the Lord) and there can always be excuses, I want to purposefully not use them.
• sticky note prayers (you exchange sticky notes on Monday morning with areas you need prayer for that week)

  Payton

• find specific ways to challenge/love/discipline/train her as an individual and remember she is     just a 3 year old.

Colton

• find balance in the freedom to be a boy and explore with safety and boundaries
• parent him differently than Payton
• still time to cuddle with him even with baby #3 (he loves cuddle time with momma)

Baby #3

• patience, the baby phase is exactly that, a phase
• love and attachment

Physical 

• return to weight of 125-130
• continue working out until end of pregnancy and return as soon as possible 

Experience

• go through a home tour (leftover from 30 before Thirty)
• take piano lessons
• give birth naturally (unless outside of my control) 

Influence

• prayerfully prepare for IYC talk
• weekly pray for and encourage one person in our community group
• maintain quarterly "ladies @ the creek" (pastor's wives of ICCC)
• memorize the book of James (my Beth Moore study this Spring is based on James)

Travel

• Florida and lake house (possibly CO depending on babies arrival) 

Well that's all folks! I do not live some amazing adventurous life, my life right now is so focused on others, on the people that are important to me and the ones that are important to God. I want to be a healthy individual (spiritually, physically, emotional, mentally) so I can in turn love on others out of a place of health.  

What are your goals for 2012? Is it going to be a New year, or just Another year?

Looking back and looking forward

The stinkin stud catching a sea turtle while shark fishing, he is quite amazing - for the animal activist, the turtle found it's way to his hook, and after fight, gratefully there was a successful release

My husband is a goal setting, intentional stud. His gift of being strategic, is amazing. When we were dating (not even engaged, just dating) we had a mission statement and values for our dating relationship, that was all him. He is purposeful in what he does. His mind is just wired that way. He is great about looking back at the previous year in review and making changes or "goals" for the new year. Of course, the goals have categories, that would only be appropriate to focus the goal setting session. He actually has a monthly review he does on his spiritual, personal and professional life. I have a specific journal that I use only for goals and year end review. The first few pages also have life goals that fall into the specific categories as well. I have been doing it since 2008 and each year I not only look back at the previous year, but also quickly look over every year in the journal. It is a great reminder of where I have struggled, where I have grown and the journey that I have been on.  

I will give you the logistics of what I do, then fill in the personal details for me in another post. I first reflect on the 5 categories and the goals I set in each of them. I notate which goals I reached and maybe some details. The categories are:

FAMILY 

(breakdown goals for each family member and family at large)

PHYSICAL 

(literally how I take care of my body physically and challenges for myself)

EXPERIENCE 

(things I want to experience, some of my "creative" outlet falls here as well)

INFLUNECE

(areas I want to be intentional in influencing others, spiritual goals fall in here for me as well)

TRAVEL

(where would I love to go)

After I read through the previous years goals and notate how I did, I read my journal entries (from my regular, daily life journal) from the whole previous year and I write down highlights, lowlights, themes and other big stuff down in my goal journal. This is a great way to have a quick review of a year and what I experienced, struggled with, areas of growth, etc. 

Then I go back and set goals for the new year in each of the categories listed above. I often look at my life goals and see if any of them could be a reality that year, or maybe something I do could to be a step in the right direction.

So that is the logistics, I encourage you to do something, it can "formal and strategic" (thanks to husband) like what I do, or a simple couple goals for the new year. But write things down, reflect on where you have come and where you are going. For me it has made a huge difference in my personal growth.

Play room make-over

This post was created over a month ago but never got posted, hence the Christmas manager, but better late than never :)

Well the play room is finally done. It has pretty much been done for a few months, I just hadn't gotten pictures on the wall and didn't want to post without them. I tend to get projects 95% done, then not post about them because I want the final 5% complete. This room is the immediately on your right when you walk in our home. Most people have it as a formal dining, we always had it as a sitting room. I had resisted a play room, but finally came to the conclusion that we have little children who need room to play and an organized play room works and looks better that chaos all over the house. So here is the transformation of the room in the 3.5 years we have lived here.

When we first moved in with plain walls

After allowing paint to bring life to the room

The last look before the play room took over

The Play Room

The lighting still leaves something to be desired, but I am going to paint lamps once the weather warms and would love to get another overhead light once we actually own the house. 

My goal was organization, hence the wicker ottoman, the baskets and the cube system, all full of toys 

The kid's nativity made it to the top shelf for the holidays after finding it spread all over the house multiple times a day

The "couch" was my old crib that my brothers and I used. It was missing hardware and would cost a lot to be safe to use as a crib so I was ready to get rid of it until I saw an idea to use is as a couch. 

10 cans of spray paint later (it really needed more I had already gone to the store twice during the painting process and was over it, should have primed it first)

The table and chairs were a garage sale find for $20, a little clean-up and white paint, and we were good to go.

Another full view. I have already actually moved the furniture around to a few configurations. I loved having the table and chairs out in the middle of room (so you can use all 4 chairs) and I had the crib in the corner, allowing more access to 4 sides of the kitchen (another cheap garage sale find) but like having the room open for little man to crawl around and daddy to wrestle the kids. If we have more friends over, I just pull the table and chairs out.

Holiday Wrap-up

I figured I better wrap up the holidays before the new year, so here we go.

Since moving away from family, Christmas has historically been a hard time of year for me (THIS post from last year will support this). Granted 2 of the past 3 Christmas's I have been delivering babies, so my hormones have been whacked out. I am pregnant and still breastfeeding this year, so I am not sure if I am much better, yet I seemed more level to myself :)

Christmas Eve we video chatted with the whole Wiens family, and that often makes me sad when I hang up. I cried because I so wish I could share the holidays with my family, but it most likely won't ever be a reality. When you marry a man in ministry and you live half-way across the country from your family, the likelihood of being together is slim. 

I think the reminder of being away from family actually hit me about a week earlier. While sitting in Starbucks I witnessed multiple mom/daughter units (all different ages) and I got so sad that I had to leave because my emotions were getting the best of me. I am not much of a crier, so Steve was very surprised as I walked in the door home early from my alone time with my eyes and face all red. I would love to live by my parents, I love my parents, they are amazing people, I would love to do life regularly with them and my brothers and their families. Even amongst the tears and pain, I have such confidence that Olathe is home, I do love Olathe, it is home to me, I just wish I could share it with my family. I know we are in the place God has us, there is no place I would rather be. But a sacrifice for following the call of God, is not living near family. That is much harder for me around the holidays. 

Needless to say, I was very thankful to have my in-laws be with us this year. This is the first time they have made it to Kansas City for Christmas and we so enjoyed our time with them. Steve spoke at Christmas Eve service, then we headed home for lasagna and had a cozy night at home. 

Papa and Buster

Papa and Gigi with kids

With sister's BIG BENNY (she loves her uncle benny - not her most photogenic night, she refused to wear a bow and was fixing her hair all night)

Our dear friends the Brantons, we have a Christmas Eve picture when little Miss Grace was in Amy's belly

Sister wore her Santa hat to match her Santa dress

 Christmas morning the kids actually slept in until 8. The adults were up at 7 enjoying the quietness and a cup of coffee. Everyone got so many wonderful things from Santa and family.

Monday we headed down to the family farms to spend time with both sides of Steve's family and then headed for a few days to the lake house. I didn't get any pictures but we had a wonderful visit with so many of Steve's extended family and some nice R&R at the lake house. The weather was in the mid-50's and we thoroughly enjoyed it. Since most people are now taking down their Christmas decor, I am finally putting up a few pictures of ours. This is really more for my benefit so when next year rolls around I like to look to see what I did last year and mix it up a bit.

Last year I had a really busy mantle, this year I wanted to keep it simple

I was anti red and green once again this year. I made these fabric trees to support my cause :)

Hope each of you had a wonderful Christmas with your families and are safe ringing in the new year. Steve and I are going to enjoy a quiet evening at home, probably will be in bed before the clock strikes 12 :)

Buster is 1!

*** Here is your warning, there is an abundance of pictures of my son, I completely understand not everyone finds him as adorable as his mother, no offense if you scroll through quickly ***

Buster Brown, Little man, Brother bear, Colton David Southards has turned 1 years old! (Yesterday Dec 16th). Many people have stated how this year has gone so quickly and I agree. After his first few months of an extremely rough start, he has been such a joy. 

12 month stats:
- weighs 20.5 pounds (20% bracket)
- Loves saying Dadda and Mama
- Cruising and will walk holding hands, but no steps by himself yet
- Loves "cheesing" is for the camera (as you can see by all the pictures)
- Loves showing off his tongue
- Loves going up and down stairs all by himself
- Eats well - loves meat and grapes - eats a big breakfast and lunch
- Still feeds from mommy morning, early afternoon and night
- A great sleeper - sleeps 12 hours at night and take two good naps (we had to work on him waking early somewhere in the 5 or 6 o'clock hour - he is finally going until at least 7)
- Has 6 teeth
- Sucks 2 fingers backwards - never took to any sort of lovey
- Loves playing with balls, always has one in his hand
- Sister is starting to get more annoyed with him because he is in to a lot more of her stuff

He is naturally outgoing. He is happiest with people around. When we are in public, he lights up at anyone who gives him attention. People often ask "is he always that happy?" He has two modes, really really happy, and really ticked off. For a month or so he has been in a phase that from 4-7pm he wants to be held all the time. He will literally drag himself on my leg crying large tears and whining if I don't hold him. I really try to sit and play and give him attention (and hold him) but I can't hold him for 3 hours as I have dinner to make during that time. I am lost on how to handle it. So yes, he is mostly really happy, but if he isn't getting the attention he wants, he is pretty ticked off.

Another side note (more for my memory) he went through a phase for about 4 months where he hated baths. As a little guy, he loved them. Then one day he fell face first in the water and that was it for him. He would scream every time he came near the water. Just the last few weeks, I have been able to slowly get him in the water to the point where he is happy and now enjoys baths again.

Happy Birthday my Son!

Pregnancy Details

For those few of you who care (and for my memory sake) here are the details of this pregnancy so far. If you read my blog you might remember THIS post about thinking I was pregnant. I had all the symptoms and signs. I had blood taken by my family doctor and it was completely negative, like I couldn't have even conceived yet since my hormone levels were so low.

That was late September that my blood was taken. Fast forward to Halloween (Oct. 31st) and as I was sitting in my Monday morning Bible study listen to Beth Moore preach it,  I realized the pants I was wearing were really tight and digging into my belly. These same pants fit fine a month ago. I had continued to experience nausea and hadn't had my period, but up until this point, I figured my body was just thrown off, after all, I was still breastfeeding, isn't that supposed to prevent pregnancy? After the tight pants episode, I went home and took a pregnancy test... POSITIVE. So I did what many women do, I took another.... POSITIVE!

It was surreal, since I had just experienced thinking I was pregnant to find out I wasn't. I went to the Dr the next day for blood work, just to confirm that the 2 at home positive results were not in error. NOPE, sure enough, prego. The question was "how far along?" I had to wait almost a month to see my doctor. With the holidays and him away at a few conferences, the wait felt like forever. 

Finally Tuesday September 29th, my doctor confirmed the pregnancy with an ultrasound and a beautiful picture of a healthy baby. We saw a great heartbeat and I was relieved. I was more anxious about this pregnancy then the other 2 with the weird situation surrounding it. I was 10 weeks 1 day at the ultrasound, making my due date June 25.  To be as far along as I was, I must have conceived within days of my original blood work. Steve and I laugh because I don't recall too much intimacy during that time since I felt absolutely terrible. I guess it only takes once :)

We got pregnant with Buster the month I weaned Sister. So in our minds, breastfeeding worked as birth control for us. The Lord had other plans. I am still breastfeeding and thankful that I am healthy enough to. Buster is 1-year-old next week, but I plan on breastfeeding a few more months as long as he is up for it and my body can handle it. I have read that often the taste of the breast milk changes at month 4 or 5 of the pregnancy and some babies wean themselves. Little man sure likes the boobies, so we will see about that. I really only breastfeed longer than a year because both of my babies have been winter babies and the extra few months can really help keep them healthy in the winter. He will be down to only morning and night feedings in the next month or so. 

I am thankful that I feel better with this pregnancy than either of the other two. It is hard to remember Sister's, but I haven't forgotten Buster's. I was knocked out sick, on zofran, wanting to quit life all together. I have nausea and fatigue, but it is manageable. I am able to go and do mostly everything I need to. I still whine to Steve as I really don't like being nausea at all. Instead of rough days, I have rough moments of the day. Usually 10am and 2pm, between meals. I literally eat all day long to somewhat satisfy my stomach. I usually gain the majority of my pregnancy weight the first trimester as I just eat non-stop. It is usually healthy, but that many extra calories add up, but it is the only thing that makes me feel a little better. Good news with breastfeeding is that I have barely gained any weight and I eat all the time, just an extra perk of supporting 2 babies at once :)

To prepare myself for what is ahead, here are pictures of the end of both pregnancy's.

38 weeks with Buster (He was born 1 week later)

38.5 weeks with sister (I went almost another month, 2 weeks over my due date)

I am currently 11 weeks and have a little pouch. A few women from church shared with me that they suspected I was pregnant because of belly already showing. Round 3 and this close to round 2, it happens. I can still wear most of my jeans but I have already had to resort to the rubber band method. 

I haven't taken any pictures of myself, I am kinda running around crazy this week as we are hosting a large open house in our home Friday night. I am looking forward to it, but it is the largest party I have hosted on my own, needless to say my list is long this week, so maybe next week after our 2nd Christmas party we are hosting (for the church leadership staff) I will take some pictures of myself and the kids and start posting more regularly. I will be leaving my first trimester next week so I am hoping to leave the yuckies behind.

Can it be?

Look and see....

Can it be?

This is not my current belly, this was prego with Colton. I am 10 weeks and thankfully not this big yet.

Baby #3 arriving June 2012