Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Different strokes for different folks

This is one of those post about my journey, what I have been learning. No cute pictures of the kiddos, just a little of my heart out there for whomever to read, but more importantly, for me to remember when I need the kick in the pants.

God has had me on a journey, humbling me. Oh the fun times of God spanking your behind, teaching you a lesson. The older I get (at the ripe age of 29) I have come to welcome these learning situations a little more, because I often know something better is on the other side.

I am passionate about parenting. About parenting styles, techniques, theories, etc. I believe a lot of it comes from my amazing mother, whom herself is passionate about this topic and throughout the years has always educated herself in this area. I love reading books, blogs, talking to other "like-minded" moms. The problem for me has come when I believe my way is the RIGHT way. The last few months, God has gently reminded me, that I am not the know-all of parenting. Hello I only have 2 little kids, I haven't even touched the surface of this parenting thing. I have been guilty of judging others on their style.  Now I have learned a little in the 2.5 years of being a parent. Before kids I looked at mom's in stores with kids have fits and thought "my kid will not do that!" As all moms know, your kid will do about everything you swore they wouldn't do. 

What works for me might not work for others.  I recently read a blog post that did a great job putting into words what I have been learning.  You can check out the whole post HERE, but let me share a little excerpt with you (this pertains to Christian mom's specifically, but can be used for all moms).

If principles are the content of what is being said, methods are the languages used. We agree that a good principle is “love your children.”  So we each say it to them in our own language. Some of us might say it in schedule feeding, and some of us might say it with a sling. The problem comes in when someone overhears someone else “talking” to their children. Quickly translating into her own language, she overhears something like, “I do not love you, and you are a fink!” Outrage ensues.
We want to hear people speaking in our own languages. We have labored over all our translation manuals, worked to have just the right accent, and so it grates on us to hear someone come say the same thing in pig latin. We often refuse to admit that it is the same thing – it just can’t be.

Now the point of this is certainly not to say that there are not objectively better ways to communicate to our children. Some people may be speaking in pig latin, some in a random smorgasbord of cliche sayings, and some only speak to their children in Italian sonnets. Some methods are better. Some methods are dumber. My point is not that we shouldn’t have an opinion about methods, but that we should be comfortable with different languages. When people speak in different languages, it ought to give us joy. The world is a crazy place. The church is a crazy place.

So, next time someone says the clearly outrageous, just remember this: there is a wrong way to be right. There is also a right way to be wrong. And there is always a greater right than being right.

Moms need to support one another, especially if you call yourself a Christ follower, we are here to encourage and love others, not judge or look down on, even if you don't understand their "language" we are still called to love one another.

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